Cope
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”—Yeshua
I don’t remember a time when my body wasn’t carrying stress. The tension in my shoulders, the shallow breaths, the way my mind raced through every possible outcome—it all felt normal. From a young age, I learned that life required vigilance. Early rejection teaches your nervous system to be on constant alert, scanning for danger, ready to protect you. But over time, that vigilance becomes exhausting. Life feels like survival mode instead of a space to experience YHWH’s perfect love.
I lived that way for a long time—through eight years of higher education, long teaching days, evenings ferrying my daughter to activities, and extended seasons of caring for loved ones. My body never had a chance to recover. When my father passed away after years of decline, I finally felt the crash. Years of unprocessed stress wrapped around me like a heavy quilt—stifling, suffocating, familiar.
It took me a while to realize that my inability to cope was rooted not only in external pressures but in internal ones. Chronic stress had become the language of my soul, a way my body expressed fear: fear that I wasn’t safe, seen, or loved. For those of us who experienced early rejection, our bodies remember. Adrenal glands overwork, sleep cycles falter, and our hearts can’t recognize peace. Deep breathing feels impossible when fear constricts the chest.
Stress is part of life. Acute stress, as the Yale researcher Rajita Sinha explains, helps us respond to immediate challenges, but chronic stress is different. It whispers fear: life is unsafe, you must control everything, survive at all costs. Chronic stress is not only physical; it becomes spiritual. When our souls operate in a posture of defense, the windows to YHWH’s love remain closed.
Chronic stress had become the language of my soul, a way my body expressed fear: fear that I wasn’t safe, seen, or loved.
My heart had felt like a sealed room, heavy with the scent of stale air. The curtains were drawn, the light dim. I had wanted to open the windows but didn’t know how. YHWH’s love felt beyond my reach—blocked by years of unhealed pain, the kind that began long before I had words for it. The ache of early rejection had erected an invisible glass wall, keeping love on the other side. Rejection had taught me to protect myself, but in doing so I shut out the very love I longed for.
I noticed how much of my body’s inability to cope was connected to my soul’s restlessness. Cortisol—the hormone our bodies release in response to stress—was running my life. I learned from a nutritionist that my adrenal glands were exhausted. She encouraged me to recalibrate, to breathe deeply, and to walk outside. I remember thinking, How can I with so much on my plate, when everything depends on me? Do you recognize this feeling? Is your plate full?
Our bodies are designed to mirror the rhythm of grace. When we breathe in deeply we receive; when we exhale we release. YHWH created us to live in that sacred rhythm—inhale love, exhale fear. Yet rejection often reverses that pattern. We inhale anxiety and exhale the need to manage everything. No wonder we feel suffocated.
Notice how your body reacts when you’re stressed—perhaps your shoulders tighten, your breath quickens, or your stomach knots. These are invitations, not interruptions—signals reminding us to pause and breathe in YHWH’s love once again.
pause and breathe in YHWH’s love
The Cleveland Clinic describes how cortisol affects every system in the body—our metabolism, immune function, and even our sleep. YHWH designed our bodies to flourish when we live in peace. Yeshua says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27, ESV). That peace is not dependent on our circumstances; it’s rooted in our connection to Him.
As YHWH began healing the places rejection had wounded, I started to cope differently, noticing Him in simple moments—the rustle of trees, the evening sunset, the quiet of prayer. Life no longer felt like something to control; it became a space to be present. I was learning to abide in His love.
Here are ways I continue to integrate His presence into my daily rhythm. These are practices of coping, ways to align my body, mind, and spirit with His steadying love:
Twelve practices of coping
Pray. Prayer changes everything. When we pray, we hand control back to the One who holds all things. It realigns our hearts to the rhythm of His love, helping us cope with anxiety and the weight of responsibility. Notice your breath as you pray—inhale His presence, exhale what you cannot carry.
Sing. Singing opens the lungs and lifts the spirit. Worship releases feel-good neurotransmitters that soothe both body and soul. Singing helps us cope by shifting focus from fear or stress to the joy and presence of YHWH. “I will sing forever about the evidence of your mercy, O Yahweh” (Psalm 89:1, GW).
Listen to music. Worship music can bring stillness where chaos once lived. Let it fill your home like the sound of distant water, reminding you that His love is steady and sure. Music helps us cope by calming racing thoughts and grounding us in His presence.
Rest. Rest is sacred. It restores energy, replenishes the mind, and steadies the emotions. Intentional pauses help us cope with overwhelm, allowing our bodies and spirits to realign with YHWH’s peace.
Breathe deeply. Take slow, intentional breaths. Imagine inhaling the cool mist of Niagara Falls—pure, rushing, alive. Each breath helps us cope by releasing tension, easing fear, and reconnecting with the rhythm of His love.
Sleep intentionally. “I fall asleep in peace the moment I lie down because you alone, O Yahweh, enable me to live securely” (Psalm 4:8, GW). Sleep allows our bodies to recover and our minds to reset, giving us strength to cope with challenges with clarity and calm.
Nourish your body. Food is a gift, designed to replenish, delight, and energize. Eat vibrantly, eat well, eat with gratitude. Mindful nourishment helps us cope by providing the energy and resilience we need to face stress and care for our minds, bodies, and hearts.
Exercise. Move your body in ways that bring joy—walk, stretch, swim, dance. Exercise reduces stress hormones, lifts the mood, and strengthens both heart and mind. Movement helps us cope by releasing tension and restoring balance.
Retrain your thinking. Restoration unfolds as we renew the mind. Replace negative thoughts with truth, fear with peace, shame with love. This practice helps us cope by calming the mental chatter that drives anxiety and by giving our hearts steady ground in YHWH’s promises.
Get sunshine. Step outside, feel the warmth on your skin, listen to birdsong. Sunlight resets our internal rhythm and lifts our spirit. Connecting with creation helps us cope by grounding us in the present moment and reminding us of God’s faithfulness.
Laugh. Laughter releases tension, lightens the mind, and expands the heart. Laughing helps us cope by breaking the grip of stress and fear, restoring perspective, and reminding us that joy is available even in hardship.
Delight in life. Take time to savor simple pleasures—nature, a warm drink, creative work. Being present in life helps us cope by shifting focus from what we cannot control to the gifts and beauty around us, keeping our hearts anchored in His love.
As we practice these daily rhythms—praying, singing, listening, nourishing our bodies, moving, retraining our thoughts, enjoying sunlight, and savoring life’s small joys—we are training our bodies, minds, and spirits to cope with the pressures and anxieties of life. Each breath, each intentional action, each pause to notice YHWH’s presence becomes part of a sacred rhythm that steadies our hearts, quiets mental chatter, and restores perspective.
Coping is not about perfection or control; it’s about returning again and again to this steady flow, letting His love meet us where we are, and allowing His Spirit to guide us through stress, fear, and uncertainty. In these small, consistent practices, we find the strength to navigate life’s challenges, the clarity to respond rather than react, and the peace that comes from knowing we are held, sustained, and loved.
Prayer
Father, help me to face today with calm and clarity. When anxiety rises, remind me to pause, breathe, and lean on Your strength. Guide my thoughts, steady my heart, and teach me to respond with Your peace instead of fear. Fill me with Your presence, renewing my energy and helping me navigate each challenge with trust in You.
Application
Choose one practice from the list above—prayer, rest, or deep breathing, for example—and commit to it this week. Notice how your body feels as you make space for stillness.
Journal prompt
Describe a time when you felt completely at peace—perhaps standing near the ocean, walking in the woods, or sitting with coffee. What did YHWH’s presence feel like at that moment? How might He be inviting you to breathe in that same peace again today?
Thank you for reading.
To read more about healing from early childhood rejection in this series, click on the links: Introduction, Distrust, Worthlessness, Loneliness, Depression, Hopelessness, Anxiety, Fear, Anger, Grief, Unforgiveness, Love Oneself, ‘aheb, hesed, racham, Hosea, Messiah, Agapaó, Apostle John, Holy Spirit, Apostle Paul, Confess, Pray, Worship, Rest
Endnotes:
Rajita Sinha, “Chronic Stress,” Yale Medicine, accessed May 9, 2023, https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/stress-disorder.
Cleveland Clinic, “Cortisol,” accessed May 9, 2023, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22187-cortisol.
Cortisol has run my life too--early rejection + trauma = hyper-vigilance for danger. Thank you for these 12 ways to cope. All very good practices.
The 12 practices of coping were so helpful! Thank you for this!