Anxiety

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” – C.H. Spurgeon

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” – C.H. Spurgeon

Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed by anxiety for no clear reason? That invisible tightness in your chest, the racing thoughts, the paralyzing indecision? Feelings of anxiety swirled through my mind and heart today like strong converging winds. I couldn’t pinpoint the driving force of these sensations of uncertainty. According to a blog post by Hope Gillette, a compassionate and reliable mental health content writer, anxiety can often be the residue an adult has to deal with that stems from early childhood rejection.

Anxiety is defined by the American Psychological Association as, “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” People suffering from anxiety disorders have “recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. They may avoid certain situations out of worry. They may also have physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness, or a rapid heartbeat.”

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Anxiety, fear, and depression intertwine like a three-cord rope for those struggling with rejection. In their book Worry-Free Living, Frank Minirth, Paul Meier, and Don Hawkins—doctors of the Minirth-Meier Clinic for overcoming anxiety—define anxiety as, “being afraid but having no idea what it is that you fear.” Depression and anxiety are similar, yet different. They explain, “Anxiety is the future superimposed on the present, and depression is the past superimposed on the present.” Anxiety is worrying about the future, whereas depression is grieving past losses.

This difference makes sense to me. When one has been rejected for no reason, it causes both depression—grieving the loss of love—and anxiety—worrying there will be no love in the future. I always thought it perplexing how I experienced severe anxiety over making decisions. Not the kind of decisions like which shampoo to buy, but the decisions that change an outcome. As thrilling as I find the moments that change one's life, I also find them terrifying, because what if I choose wrong? It’s only exciting when you choose the right path! Or is there a right path?

Although with time and healing my anxiety has lessened, it hasn’t been completely erased from my life, which God wants to heal. What about you? Are you facing a decision right now that leaves your heart unsettled? One current situation I’m in reveals I still struggle with some anxiety. I have to choose between a few options of what I will be doing in the next season of my life. The choices include returning to a paying job, leading an outreach team in the mission field, or volunteering with a nonprofit organization.

I have learned to throw the pro/con list out the window. I never found it helpful. However, I still go through a process that I find mentally exhausting. First, I pray. Then, I take the reins back out of God’s hands and traipse along an unstable, perilous path, complete with a racing, constricted heart, which usually lasts several days.

My thoughts go something like this:

Me—“What should I do? If I go back to a paying job, then that will take me away from missions. I want to do missions. That’s all I ever wanted. But I need money. I’m running out of money. Oh, right—God will provide. He promises. OK, I won’t go back to a paying job. Unless I have to. So, now what? Do I lead a missions team or volunteer for the organization? Which one is better? I like both. Which one will glorify God? Both. Which one do I want to do? Both. Which one costs less? Oh, never mind, I’m not supposed to factor that in. Which one gives me peace? Right now I don’t feel any peace. OK, God, what do you want me to do?”

God—“You took the reins back from my hands.”

Me—“Sigh.”

Can you relate to that kind of spiraling thought? Do you ever feel like you hand things over to God—only to grab them right back?

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Minirth, Meier, and Hawkins further describe anxiety as a symptom of not wanting to look at a negative emotion that we think we have successfully buried inside. Their theory is that God uses anxiety as a way to draw our attention and help us understand that there is a deeper problem or feeling. For me, it’s the early childhood rejection. Do you think early childhood rejection could be the cause of your anxiety?

Using my above example of having to make a decision, I can determine that I first experienced anxiety when I noticed my heart racing and my thoughts spiraling out of control and interrupting my life, for no apparent reason.

After investigating the source of this anxiety, I can see that really I’m fearful—not worried—of making a wrong decision because I fear disappointing God and not being on the right path. I have a false belief that God will not love me if I make the wrong choice. This directly stems from being rejected for no reason. Maybe you’ve felt something similar—like love is something you have to earn.

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Proverbs 12:25a (NIV) tells us, “An anxious heart weighs a man down.” I can confirm this firsthand. I have never felt peace when making decisions surrounding the course of my life. Rather, I experience mental anguish that directly attacks my health. After all of the worrying over my decision mentioned above, I awoke the next day with a sore throat.

God tells us not to be anxious. Why does He tell us? Because He knows the damage worrying does to our bodies. In Matthew 6:27, God asks which of us by being anxious can add a single hour to our span of life. The answer is none of us. In fact, worry will lessen our lifespan. In his article How Anxiety Affects Health and Longevity, Dr. Mark Stibich, a behavior change expert, explains, “Research shows that overreacting, constantly worrying, and living in a state of perpetual anxiety can reduce life expectancy.”

God promises us His peace.

Philippians 4:6–7 (NKJV) says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” This is one of my favorite verses because it gives advice on what to do instead of being anxious.

First of all, “Be anxious for nothing” is a command, not a suggestion. We can see from the previous two verses how anxiety is not good for us and how being anxious about something won’t change the outcome. So God tells us not to do it. Next, He tells us what to do instead of worrying: pray!

Prayer is communion with God. The Greek word used in this verse comes from the verb proseúxomai. Bible Hub explains the meaning is to “interact with the Lord by switching human wishes (ideas) for His wishes as He imparts faith (‘divine persuasion’).” This, in itself, is beautiful. Yet another word is added to this verse—supplication.

The word supplication comes from the Latin verb supplicare, which means “to plead humbly.” Vocabulary.com defines this word as a request for help from a higher power. It includes an attitude of awe and adoration. I love this. To walk humbly means to recognize God is in control, and to let Him lead and guide us. For me, there is no greater sign of humbleness than to kneel before God, truly seeking His face, and giving all of my wants and desires to Him, allowing Him to decide what is best for me.

Thanksgiving is listed as the next activity to do in Philippians 4:6–7, after prayer and supplication. Why do we thank God for things before we see them happen? Because it activates our faith! When we thank God, we are giving Him all the glory and honor for listening to our requests and then acting on our behalf to make His plans for us come to pass. I often remind myself of God’s promise in Proverbs 16:3 (NIV): “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” It gives me immeasurable relief to know I need to yield to Him and let Him lead.

Finally, God promises us His peace that passes all understanding and that peace will guard our hearts and minds like a shield. I experienced this peace when I ended my teaching career to pursue a life in missions. My choice did not make sense to anyone. Some thought it foolish. After making my decision to retire early, which I believed came from God, I sent in my notice to the school board. Every day that followed seemed surreal. It felt like I lived within a bubble of peace that encased me as I took each step.

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One beautiful quality of glass is its transparency. We may feel stuck behind a thick layer of glass that keeps us from experiencing His love, but God can clearly see us on the other side of the glass. We are not hidden from His sight. God sees you and knows the pain that you are in.

Feeling anxiety, instead of peace, can be overcome as we seek God. God is the only one who loves us unconditionally. Once we recognize that our bodies are reacting, we need to identify why. We can ask God to show us. It may be that you need deeper inner healing from rejection, like I do. By following the steps in Philippians 4:6–7, we are better equipped to cast all of our cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7). But first, we need to accept His love and believe He can heal the inner wounds of rejection.

When I realized my error in attempting to make a decision for the next steps in life, I knew I needed to hand the reins back over to God. I asked God to forgive me for taking control of my life by attempting to figure out my next step alone. Again, I fully surrendered my determined, willful ways to my Shepherd. In return, He filled me with His peace. Two of my confidants, whose advice I sought, wisely suggested that I apply to both of the ministry options, which confirmed what I felt God nudging me to do—and then leave it in His hands, that is, to stop worrying about it.

With the revelation that anxiety is one way God draws attention to a deeper wound it’s essential to spend time with God seeking revelation and healing. You are not alone on this healing journey. God sees your heart, your fears, and your longing for peace. He is not asking you to be perfect—He’s simply wanting to meet you where you are.

Let’s pray:
Lord, please heal my inner wounds that keep me anxious about my future. Forgive me for trying to figure everything out on my own and not leaning on You. Help me to see that by worrying I am only causing myself to experience mental and physical stress. I trust that You have a plan for my life. I choose to come to You with my requests. Thank You for caring about me so deeply that You don’t want me to be bothered with worry. Help me to be strong and not fearful of what may come tomorrow. Please fill me with Your peace that surpasses all understanding as I trust You to lead me.

Application:
Fold a blank piece of paper in half. Remember a time you felt anxious. On one side of the paper, draw a picture of what your body looked like. Were you shaking nervously? Rolled up in a ball? Tired? Have a headache or a stomachache? On the other side, think of a time you felt peaceful and at rest. Draw a picture of what your body looked like. Do you have a smile on your face? Standing straight? A relaxed posture?

Journal prompt:
Write about a moment when anxiety overwhelmed you. Ask God to show you the hidden root of that anxiety. What truth might He want to speak to you about? How could you respond differently if it returns?

Thank you for reading. If this post spoke to you, will you consider buying me a coffee to fuel my writing?

To read more about healing from early childhood rejection in this series, click on the links: Introduction, Distrust, Worthlessness, Loneliness, Depression, and Hopelessness

Endnotes:

Frank Minirth, M.D., Paul Meier, M.D. and Don Hawkins, Th.M., Worry-Free Living. (Thomson Nelson, 1991)